As anyone who has lost a loved one will tell you, grief is mentally, physically, and emotionally draining. It’s during these moments that people really need their friends to step up and provide much-needed support, love, and care.
With that said, even if the person experiencing grief is aware that they need those things, they’re unlikely to verbalize it. Equally, many people shy away from providing meaningful levels of support because they are unsure of what to do, or they’re afraid of saying the wrong things.
It is worth overcoming those knowledge gaps. People remember who was there for them when they were going through difficult times, and by learning how to help a friend dealing with loss, you’ll know that you’ve acted in a way that really makes a difference.
Drop Off Meals
Going through grief can make it difficult to take care of the basics, such as eating healthy meals. Even deciding what to make, let alone actually making it, can be a challenge. Dropping off prepared meals for your friend is one of the greatest and most underrated acts of service you can provide. It’s not about socializing — in fact, you can tell them outright that you’re just dropping off food — but about making sure they have the nutrition they need. Don’t ask what they want; just make some freezable dinners, and drop them off.
Help With Funeral Arrangements
People going through the grieving process need space to process their emotions, but at the same time, they also have to manage funeral arrangements. While there’ll be some aspects of the funeral that they may have to organize on their own, you can also provide auxiliary support that takes some of the to-do list off their plate. Even looking at funeral service provider websites, such as www.academyfuneralservices.com.au, and getting a list of the decisions that have to be made — such as cremation or burial, time and location of the funeral, etc — can help them to understand their options. Another way to help is to act as the information gatekeeper, in which questions relating to the funeral from others are directed at you.
Honor the Loved One’s Memory
Many people avoid mentioning the name of the person who has been lost because they believe that it will cause the person experiencing grief to become upset. But actually, in many cases, the opposite is true. It can be nice for them to hear their loved one’s name and be reminded of times in the past, since it helps to keep their memory alive. They’ll be thinking of the person they’ve lost all the time; discussing them helps to bring them to the surface.
Be There In Month Two
Finally, keep in mind that while many people going through grief experience a wave of love and support in the immediate weeks following the death, it can drop off significantly by month two. Continuing to be there for your friend at that moment is arguably even more important than in the first few days. Even small gestures, such as thinking of you messages, can go a long way.
